Like in any relationship, the minute you allow certain behavior to go unchecked, its next to impossible to reign it back in. Even in acknowledging privileges you have, none of that negates your needs. No amount of privilege excuses inconsiderate and selfish behavior, and you being that sick and him not taking the burden of cooking off your lap is absolutely infuriating. No matter who you are, no matter your race or class, there should be an implicit understanding that when you are down, your partner picks up the slack. No matter if it inconveniences them. In fact, inconveniencing yourself in order to take care of your loved ones is part of having loved ones. So if he wants you as his private chef, he needs to do the work to keep you as a happy "wife", and that is done by showing his appreciation for all you do, including how he inconveniences YOU. You absolutely should talk to him about this, he may surprise you and be responsive and make some changes. But you gotta give him the chance to do so. Once you do, if he refuses to change and doesn't listen to your needs, then a whole other kind of talk will be in order. But it is crucial to have the original dialogue and communicate your needs. The resentment will grow if unchecked.